#5 – The Earth’s Atmosphere
78.08% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, 0.93% argon, 0.038% carbon dioxide, 100% Thing People Like. It is a commonly held fact that people love the atmosphere more than their own children. You can’t go anywhere these days without seeing some person or another sucking down the atmosphere like it was air.
Many things on the Earth, like rocks, have never even taken a single breath of the atmosphere. People, on the other hand, swear by it. You will frequently overhear people talking about how they would “literally die” without the Earth’s 50-mile thick atmosphere separating them from the harsh vacuum of space.
If you want to make a person feel good simply walk up to them and say, “Aren’t you glad the chemical composition of Earth’s atmosphere is precisely compatible with carbon-based life?” The person will almost certainly reply, “Yes.” They may even give you a high-five, provided they are not a paraplegic. This is equally true in Portland, Oregon.
Not a sandwich, but I just made a joke tumblr in honor of Stuff White People Like coming out in book form tomorrow. I had actually not seen SWPL before tonight [!!!]. I think it is a little bit funny but but a lot ripe for parodying. This is for you, Lee, since I think you’re the only person who reads my sandwich blog but not my real blog.
